Sometimes you win, sometimes you learn

In September, I had the pleasure and honour of speaking in Berchtesgaden to managers from an international consultancy. We discussed my experiences as an athlete and entrepreneur, and their common denominator: a growth mindset.

For me, a growth mindset is among the most important aspects of eventual success. People with this mindset are not afraid of mistakes, venture beyond their comfort zone and see change and innovation as opportunities. They pursue development, accepting the risk of setbacks. In life as in sport: sometimes you win, sometimes you learn.

Late August in Chamonix, just before the UTMB: fully focused. (c) Georg Krewenka.

That was my experience at the end of August. This year’s Ultra-Trail du Mont-Blanc once again demonstrated how complex ultra trail running is. I had already completed the 171 km and 10,000 metres of climbing around perhaps the Alps’ most impressive massif four times. In 2018, I stood on the podium in ninth as the top 10 were honoured.

This year, everything had felt so good, so right. With support from family, friends and my sponsor BOA, I prepared precisely. The goal was under 22 hours, which would probably, certainly, have meant another single-digit placing. At the start, expectation weighed more heavily than joy and lightness. That was manageable: I had considered and prepared for it. I got through the night well and was 18th halfway through. I thought I could pass three or four, another four or five would withdraw, and I would be heading for the top 10 again. I attached little importance to slight lung discomfort.

Then I heard that teammate and friend Gerald “Sancho” Fister had withdrawn for health reasons. A negative spiral began. What if my lungs were signalling something wrong? Was I running myself into myocarditis? Honestly, I became afraid. None of my mental techniques calmed me or restored my flow. I felt worse and worse, tripped over a root and injured my knee. Then it was over and out. My first UTMB DNF was a reality.

The toll of my first UTMB DNF.

I have never shied away from challenges. When I decided to run from Vienna to Copenhagen, I did not know whether it would succeed. Choosing to run my company alone was a necessary leap, but still into cold water. For this year’s UTMB, my theme was that last year’s ninth place could not be the end of the story.

“Whatever happens, your children and I love you.” My wife Julia sent me to the 2019 UTMB with those words, and they have sustained me. Losing is hard. Social media support provides only limited comfort, and “comebackstronger” can sound like a hastily written cliché. Yet a few perhaps simple certainties help me look forward: life goes on, I learn from every experience, and I welcome events, positive and negative, with open arms.

If I start the UTMB in 2020, I know my growth mindset will bring a different runner to the line: more experienced and mature. Continuous learning is part of my #lifeworktrailbalance anyway. And that is a good thing!