The Plan B I Wasn't Ready For

At ten on Sunday morning, my world really did become simple. Just as I had described before the start: running, eating and little sleep. The route was marked, the destination was Courmayeur, and in between there was only the next climb, the next pass and the next aid station.

At the start, everything really was good. I was completely absorbed in the running.

This time, that simple world did not last long.

My 2026 Tor des Géants ended in Rhêmes-Notre-Dame, with around 270 kilometres still to go.

Of course I am disappointed. Right now, it is mainly mental. Physically, it feels almost irritatingly uneventful. My legs were not wrecked. There was no major fall and no single injury that made the decision for me.

Instead, too many problems, big and small, came together.

Too many problems at once

I became dizzy at altitude. At times, I could barely see. Then severe cramps set in. I probably had not drunk enough or taken in enough electrolytes. Eventually, I could no longer get proper food down.

Any one of those problems might have been manageable. Slow down for a while. Drink more. Eat something. Stay calm. Wait for the low to pass.

But in a 330-kilometre race, it is not enough to solve the next problem somehow. You also have to believe that you can manage the consequences for another 270 kilometres. Several separate issues had turned into a system that was no longer working.

That is the factual explanation. It is not the whole truth.

The uncomfortable part of the truth

I probably could have slept for two hours and then continued. Slowly, carefully, one step at a time. The race would have become a very long hike. Somehow, the finish might even have remained possible.

I was not mentally ready for that Plan B.

Had I never finished the TOR, things might have been different. The prospect of the finisher’s gilet alone might have carried me through another 270 kilometres. But after my tenth place last year, I could not let go of the race I had come here to run.

I was not psychologically ready to watch hundreds of runners pass me while forcing myself through the rest of the course just to reach the finish.

That is not a judgement on anyone else. Anyone who keeps going after problems, a sleep stop and many slow hours shows a strength that deserves at least as much respect as any fast time. This is only an honest statement about me on that day.

Call it ambition. Pride. Ego. Or the athlete in me, who is still stronger than I sometimes want to admit. That part of me could not accept the version of the race that remained.

It sounds less heroic than the story of a fighter dragging himself to the finish at any cost. But it is the truth.

The bill for the last few months

There is no simple excuse and nobody else to blame.

The last few months were not the preparation that 330 kilometres demand. The company, the work, too little sleep and too little recovery left their mark. I knew that before the start. I still wanted to believe that experience, desire and willpower could fill the gaps.

This time, they could not.

My hashtag #lifeworktrailbalance describes an aim, not a permanent state. This year was unbalanced for a long time. A race like the TOR does not care why the preparation unfolded that way. It simply presents the bill.

At some point, it is no longer enough to remind yourself that you have survived many crises before. Willpower cannot replace fluids, electrolytes, food, sleep or months of stable preparation. The official tracking and results only show where the race ended. They do not show the months that came before it.

Perhaps I could have continued with a different mindset. Perhaps my body would have recovered after two hours of sleep. Perhaps I would eventually have found my way back into the race. All of those possibilities exist in hindsight.

In Rhêmes-Notre-Dame, they were no longer real to me.

What remains

For now, what remains is the disappointment. I do not have to turn it immediately into a lesson, a motivational quote or the next goal. The red STOP sign for the negative thought spiral applies now too: recover first, analyse later. The disappointment is allowed to hurt without becoming a verdict on who I am.

With some distance, I will look at what actually happened: fluids, electrolytes, nutrition, the problems at altitude and my mental response when the original race plan was gone. Not to find a better excuse, but to draw the right conclusions.

The TOR owes me nothing. I only owe myself an honest story about why I did not finish it this time.